direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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