Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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