I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
