thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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