I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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