We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
