dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
