If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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