just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this boner is exhausting
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Randomize
