Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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