It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
