Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
