Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
