you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we're making bets on your personal life
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
