I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
