who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
