Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
