he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
