I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
