so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
