People in love make me want to vomit
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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