Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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