and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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