yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
