if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
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