i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
