I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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