Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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