btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize