fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
