This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
