Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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