I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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