bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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