also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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