The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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