Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
