Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We have started to decorate penises.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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