girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
birth control should be required to get into college
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
