he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
The Olympian is in my bed
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