we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
