4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Randomize
