you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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