so explain again why im purple
no
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
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and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
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New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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