do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
