I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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