I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My bed smells like the plague
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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