Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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