My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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