Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
