I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
