Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
