it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
