She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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