So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
