im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
