dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
it glows. i had to have it.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
