we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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