Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
