I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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